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Read this scene, please--does it need work?
Ok, it's safe and I assemble my cowriter established. It has not been edited yet, and it is clearly an adult novel set through the eyes of an immature adult (19 years). The scene may seem weird - Yeah, it's worth a laugh - but I am very serious. Please comment with sweetness!
It is very rough. I had a new Tor notice the opening paragraph several times to understand. The choice of words feels a mix of slang, txt and really not clear and no prospect of making visually.
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